Author: Lauren W.
About Lauren W.
Lauren Wilkinson has a cat.
Posts by: Lauren W.
My Top 4 Favorite Chickens
January 12, 2011by wilkes you know what this is my internet too and if I want to talk about Famous Chickens on it why the fuck not, right? 4. Meet Miracle Mike a chicken who lived for 18 months (1946-7), with his … Continue reading
Posted in Hump Day | Tagged allusions, chickens, coke binge, death, eating babies, insanity, racism, smacking a dog's ass with a 2X4 | Leave a comment
Putting the "Hump" in Hump Day
May 5, 2010by Wilkes Lately, I’ve been trapped in two very different feedback cycles: I can’t stop thinking about either Racism or Getting Laid. Everything that rises must converge y’all: I’m probably going to end up hate-fucking a white guy TO DEATH. … Continue reading
Posted in Feeling Feelings | Tagged Abdellah Taia, Adrien Brody, Danny Portland, Darjeeling Limited, Dick Nose, Francobone, French, If I ever Feel Better, Louis Garrel, Paris, Phoenix, Schnoze, The Dreamers, Waris Ahluwalia | Leave a comment
Humpty Hump Day: Sex in Ads
February 17, 2010by Wilkes Yr damn right sex sells. For example: ABS PLUS THIS THING EQUALS I WILL TAKE 3!!! The thing about sex in advertising is that I like it uncomplicated and delicious like an all-beef, ballpark frank with a slice … Continue reading
Posted in Feeling Feelings | Tagged advertising, animals, D&G, digital underground, filly, green M&Ms, Humpty Hump, Orangina, Reggie Bush, Sex | Leave a comment
Hump Day Grab Bag
December 9, 2009by Wilkes Now that I’m gainfully unemployed, I wake up at around 6 to “work on my novel” and keep at it until my stomach starts to hurt from caffeine and self-hatred (which usually kicks in at around 5). You’d … Continue reading
Posted in Feeling Feelings | Tagged A girl, Ambien Sex, art, Bear head, Dutch, hump day, James Franco, Mueck, Ronald McDonald, Unemployment, Writing | Leave a comment
STOP THE PRESSES
October 7, 2009I’m sure you’ve all already seen it, but I still want to take a moment out of my busy day of loafing to talk about how fuckin’ hilarious Regretsy is. I laughed until I tinkled and then I laughed … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
A Wikimedia Commons Comic: Things I've Learned From Max
May 28, 2009Posted in News | Tagged Advice, Baby, Chicken, Disgruntled, dudes, Smoking, Wikimedia Commons Comic | Leave a comment
What's My Age Again?
May 23, 2009by Lauren W. Show Hide i just have one question how could one band like blink [182] who runs around naked make a sucha difference in the world –Matt1236969, Youtube Comment, (20 hours ago) Early 2000. The nation drew a … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
Ode to the Dirtbag
April 30, 2009by Lauren W. Recently, Brandon B. & I were talking about my favorite childhood book: Sideways Stories From Wayside School. One story is about a new kid who is smelly and rude and wearing a raincoat. The teacher peels the … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged dirtbags, dudes, Joaquin Phoenix, Love | Leave a comment
YOU DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH, YOU MAKE ME CRY
April 16, 2009by Lauren W. Whenever one of those dudes trying to sell comedy tickets on the street asks me if I like to laugh, I frown and shout ‘NO!’ I do it because it’s funny and also because my own personal … Continue reading
Posted in Feeling Feelings | Tagged Barf, Comedy, Humiliation, Macy's | Leave a comment
Chia Obamas Pulled from Walgreens Shelves
April 9, 2009by Lauren W. Obama will likely find himself foiled many times throughout the course of his presidency, but none will be so nefarious as those wrought by 76-year-old Chia Pet founder, Joseph Pedott. Pedott’s Commander-in -Terracotta has been pulled from … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Chia, Obama, Pedott | Leave a comment
